Getting dumped sucks. It’s never going to be easy, whether it’s a mutual decision or a complete shock. Maybe you were in a longterm relationship and went travelling, or you met them along the way; either way it’s still going to be shitty for a while. Maybe you both decided you didn’t want a relationship, maybe they replaced you with someone else, maybe they cheated. It all comes down to the same thing – the person you were with, spent time with, got close to, has gone away. It’s ok. It won’t feel that way straight away, but eventually you will look back on it without anger or sadness and realise, I’m good.
I recently went through a break up on the road. Someone I trusted and thought more than anything was a friend, let me down – with nothing but an abrupt phone call. (I might still be bitter about the phone call part.) But that is who they are, which makes them someone I don’t want to be with. I still wish him the best, but I also don’t need someone like that in my life. You can wallow for a while, wonder why they did it, wonder how they could go from loving you to finding someone else so quickly; but ultimately that’s not going to get you anywhere. Firstly you have to realise that you don’t need them, and then, this is why getting dumped while travelling is good for you.
You Have More Time.
If you were like me, I would organise my time so I could see my partner, or talk to them while they were away. I put in a lot of time and effort trying to make it work. Side note, if you are trying to make it work, it’s not going to. Think of all the time that you now have to focus on what you want to do, your dreams. You have all that extra time to be with people who think like you and want to go on your journey with you. Time to work on projects that inspire you and to see all the places you wanted to see, instead of giving your time to someone who doesn’t deserve it. If you are travelling, time is your greatest asset. You may only be somewhere for a short amount of time; so now focus on making that time the best ever, ticking off everything on your bucket-list.
It Will Push You To Get More Out of Your Travels.
It is easy when you first break up to want to hide under your duvet, away from the world. Don’t do it. If you need it, take a couple of days and then push yourself to get back out there. Meet new people, go to new places, take your mind off it. I promise you that as daunting as it may sound now, from your duvet and tub of Ben and Jerry’s, it will be worth it. You never know who you will meet or where you will end up. Don’t let the break-up stop you achieving what you set out to do, that’s why you got on a plane in the first place. See it as an opportunity to experience so much more. The best thing about travel is that you are in a new place, so go and explore it, you’ll have forgotten all about your ex in no time. Being on your own again forces you to push yourself into new situations. Maybe that means booking a ticket somewhere, or just going to that party down the road that you weren’t going to. It means you will be experiencing so much more now.
It Will Help You Work On You.
The only way you are going to feel better is if you focus on yourself. Sure it’s tempting to go out and hook up with someone else straight away, you probably will, and it probably will make you feel a bit better. Ultimately, it might make you happy temporarily but long term happiness comes from within and is about learning to love yourself first (I know I sound like I’m trying to be an inspirational meme, sorry.) Focus on what you want longterm. Eat healthy, go for runs, get outside. Exercise is a huge endorphin releaser so you know it’s going to make you feel good! Plus listening to some ‘fuck you’ songs definitely helps you move from grief to anger, a lot quicker! Working on yourself will recharge your self worth and make you even better, than the amazing person you already are. You’re going to come out of the break-up with a new lease of life, a healthier, more driven you. Thanks ex! Travelling will only heighten this. You are out in the big wide world achieving things on your own, you will have to do things by yourself again. There is something so fulfilling about accomplishing even small tasks on your own, while travelling. Now it will be even more of an accomplishment, getting back to you and travelling on.
You’re Going To Have So Many New Adventures.
You are now open to so many new adventures, remember that trip you wanted to take and didn’t because of your ex, that after party you missed out on, or that hotel you stayed in, instead of slumming it in a hostel dorm meeting people? Well no more saying no, now you can do whatever you want to, with whoever you want to. By opening yourself up to saying yes more, you are open to so many exciting experiences. That’s the great thing about travel, you can go anywhere (if you still have money) so do it. Maybe you moved somewhere close to them, or moved in with them – well get out of there. Go on an adventure. Maybe you can’t leave just yet, you’re tied to something else, but try and find something nearby to get you away. Go and volunteer at a festival, or do a weekend house sitting; remember that you went travelling, to see the world, so go and see it. Now you have the opportunity to do anything. And when you start having new adventures again, you will be kicking yourself for not doing them sooner. Now you have the chance to make up for lost time.
It is Your Chance For Clarity
Whenever you break up, it sends you into a huge re-evaluation about who you are, what you want and what you want out of a partner. This is a good thing. It makes you stop and think about what you are doing and where to go next. You will have more clarity, because you are focusing on your own path and not on a joint one. It will also mean you will be more cautious about relationships, using better judgement. Meaning, the next time you fall for someone, it will be someone who has broken down those walls and who truly deserves you. Every so often while travelling it is good to re-evaluate. Sometimes it is easy to get lost along the way and end up somewhere you don’t want to be. So this whole re-evaluation will inspire you again, inspire your travels and get you back on the right path.
You Will Meet so Many Amazing People.
The slate is clean, you are free to focus on friendships and your own well-being. What better place to be this new person, than on the road? Don’t let your break-up discourage you from meeting other people. Your ex didn’t work out for you, but there are loads of amazing people yet to meet, who are worthy of your time. Meeting new people travelling, will constantly restore your faith in the humanity. Now you aren’t spending your time with just one person, you can be spending it with so many more people. Travellers are always happy to meet other travellers, talk about their adventures and upcoming trips. Go stay in a hostel and meet all these amazing people, that you never would have before. If you are in Coolangatta, Australia, there is an awesome hostel with a cracking drinks deal on a Sunday. Come meet me!
If you are reading this, you probably got dumped recently. I’m sorry. You are probably also travelling. How exciting. It can be hard away from home and your support network, but it will get better and you will come out of it stronger. Let this break-up make you a better person, make it push you to go on adventures, make it force you to have amazing experiences with new people. You are free, so get out and do everything you can, see everything you can see. You have had a lucky escape from someone who didn’t appreciate you and it will give you new motivation to go and experience as much as possible. Don’t let it hinder your travels, make it inspire you to travel more. You will love again and the next one will be ten times better than the last, you never know what, or who, is around that next hostel door!